what is up?

I'm not going to go into the fact that I rarely post here anymore. That's just how it goes these days:) I feel like I have so much to say, but can't put it into words. All I know is that I'm not sure of what's next. I'm standing on the teetering edge, trying not to falter, without knowing what I want or what will happen. I'd like to say the edge is good that it represents happiness and beauty, but I'm not sure of that either. It may be what needs to break for the beauty to truly reappear, but I'm preparing for the beauty AND the ugly. What can I say, I like to be prepared.